The Decision to Birth at Home

Well, now that Dexter is almost a month old, I think I'll chronicle his birth.

Upon learning that I was pregnant last December, I began to look into options for my prenatal care and delivery. I found, surprisingly, that home births were covered under my health plan with Blue Cross Blue Shield. I can't say that it was always an aspiration of mine to have a home birth, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea.

I realized that a home birth would be different from my previous births in two ways: first, I would give birth, of course, at home; second, I would receive care from a midwife in stead of an obstetrician.

Skipping the hospital seemed great to me. My labors and deliveries with Felix and Ezra were quick and uncomplicated--I labor at home for a few hours in denial that I'm actually in labor. Then transition sets in and I decide that it definitely is labor. When I can't deny the inevitable any longer (that the baby's coming NOW, whether or not I've checked off everything on my insanely long nesting to-do list), I jump in the car and Brian races to the hospital, getting there in just enough time to avoid a car birth. Some random doctor races into the room to catch the baby, and we go home as soon as they let us. So the idea of birthing at home seemed great to me! All the fun of labor without the awkward leg-crossing in the car to slow down the pushing contractions.

So, what about a midwife? My OB with Felix, in St. George, UT, was fantastic; if we had stayed in St. George I probably never would have looked beyond the realm of obstetrics for my prenatal care. But my OB in Ann Arbor, MI was not the greatest. (She was chronically 60-90 min late to appointments, flippant with answers to sensitive questions, talked about herself the whole time during checkups, and, just to top it off, stripped my membranes without asking me at 36 wks. [WHAT???] She said, "Oh, most women want to go early". Well, not me. I wanted that baby to have as much womb time as possible. Talk about disrespectful, non-personalized care.)

So I began reading up on midwifery, and I found that the model of care really appealed to me, especially in contrast with the standard medical model.

After making dozens of phone calls, I settled on Kate Saumweber of Twin Cities Midwifery. During our initial consultation, I sensed her empathy, intelligence, and wisdom, and was sold on the fact that all prenatal care would take place in my home! To say that my experience with Kate far exceeded my expectations is an understatement. Kate was phenominal, the perfect midwife. She would spend as long as I liked at our visits answering questions, learning about my past and current pregnancies, and helping Felix and Ezra feel included in Dexter's development. She was thorough and organized, even following up with me via phone in between visits. As a midwife, she cared for me as a whole person, looking after not just my (and baby's) physical health, but my emotional and social well-being as well. Her approach to care was educational and empowering; I felt like we collaborated in the decisions on prenatal care, by talking over options along the way (regarding tests, precedures, preparations, etc.). In fact, my experience was so wonderful that I can honestly say I'm already looking forward to the next pregnancy. In due time, of course. :)

OK, so the prenatal care was fabulous, but what about the actual birth? Well, that will have to wait until my next entry. Dexter's hungry.

Dexter!

Just pictures for all the loved ones to see (some from our good friend and photographer, Kim Russell)! Thanks for your support, meals, babysitting etc.. More birth updates to come soon.

-Brian

Dexter Noah Hall

Length: 18.5 in.

Weight: 6 lbs 0 oz.

Sorry Laura for jumping the gun on this blog while you're still recovering from childbirth.. I know that you are just gathering your strength in order to be able to compose yet another memorable, witty, and creative post about little Dexter and our incredible home birth experience. Maybe you'll be ready to forgive me if I change the next six diapers...

Ezra Jackson Hall

The newest installment to the Hall family joined us yesterday, January 17th at 8:43 am!

First the stats, with Felix's to compare:

gestational age: 37 weeks, 5 days (F: 37 weeks, 1 day)
weight: 5 lbs, 14 oz (F: 5 lbs, 3 oz)
length: 18 3/4 in (F: 19 in)
eyes: nondescript gray (F: ditto...his turned bright blue after a few weeks)
hair: tons of soft, dark, wavy hair, with some serious sideburns (F: a fair amount of dark straight hair)
features: Laura's eyes, nose, ears, mouth we think (F: a little Brian clone!) [this is so subjective, and could and does change over time!]
labor: 5 hrs start to finish--all of it pretty intense (F: 10 hrs--5 hrs of it intense)

Now the story:

I'd been having contractions off and on for a few days, but nothing continuous, although I knew from my last two OB checkups that I was moving in that direction. Then on Thursday I woke up at about 3:30am to increasingly strong contractions that were first 10, then 8 to 6 minutes apart. I tried to rest in between contractions, and began to realize that this was really labor!

By 6:30 things were getting painful, and so I let Brian know. I took a nice warm bath, which really helped me through those moderately intense contractions. I guessed I was at about 5 or 6 cm when I was through with my shower at 7:00, because the contractions took a lot of focus and effort to sort of “stay on top of” mentally, but they weren't horribly painful.

By 7:30 Brian was up, Felix was getting ready to go to our friend's house (with all of 5 minute’s notice…thank you SO MUCH, Shakespears!), and I was really having to work to get through the first few contractions of transition (7 to 10 cm), in between drying my hair and putting on makeup, of course. Brian was very supportive and helpful, switching from “super dad” mode to “super labor coach” mode as he got Felix ready and the car loaded up. From then on the contractions came about every 2 minutes, and lasted about 90 seconds… so not much regrouping time in between! And boy were they intense; it took everything I had to work through them. But I just kept thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel—how we’d get to meet our baby boy in just a few minutes!

So we arrived at the U of M hospital triage at about 8:15: 9 cm, 100% effaced, with the baby at a +3 station (as low as possible before pushing), and the amniotic sac bulging. So after about 4 more super intense contractions I was in a delivery room, and they broke my water. That triggered the urge to PUSH, and so I did! The doctor told me to “bear down” continuously, but I chose to listen to my body and line it up with the waxing/waning muscle tension during the contractions. (This might be too much info, but that really helped me not to tear much at all, the only thing I wanted to do differently this second time around!)

Well, after 2 or 3 pushes Ezra was born!!! He was placed him on my chest, and all I could think was how GORGEOUS and perfect and tiny Ezra is—and what a beautiful miracle labor, birth, and families are!

Momma and Ezra, a few minutes old

A rare glimpse of Ezra awake!

Brothers

My little boys!

First bath--should I use the whole bottle of shampoo?!

Sweet baby Ezra

There's nothing in the world like a newborn babe

Introducing...

Our new baby!

...stay tuned for more details!

Who needs a hospital?

OK, so I think I'll post the story of Felix's birth now, for anyone who might be interested. If you don't like birth stories or get squeamish at the thought of umbilical cords, you might want to skip this post. Otherwise, read on!!

Well, it all started 9 months ago... jk, I'll start 2 days before his birth. Tuesday, December 19 (which happens to be Mallory's birthday!), I took the Greyhound up to Provo one last time to finish up my last 5 client therapy hours (of 500). I had the same driver going up and coming back the next day, and he was a funny guy. I usually sat in or near the front seat (just so I could run off the bus fast if anyone creeps me out too much), but this time my seat choice kept me from getting much reading done in my "Husband Coached Childbirth" book (all about natural childbirth) because he just kept talking and talking. Everything that happened reminded him of a joke or a story, and after listening to him for a while I wasn't sure where one stopped and other started, cause he kept fading in and out of reality. Then he realized I was pregnant, and got super nervous that he was going to have to deliver the baby, which he supposedly had experience with. So he had some stories about that, but I don't think they were true.

Anyhow, I got into St. George at around 2:30 on Wed, but Brian was working alone and couldn't come pick me up until later that afternoon when one of his employees got in. So did I wait patiently? Yeah, right! It was only a mile and a half to Brian's work, uphill, so I figured I'd just walk as far as I felt comfortable and then stop. I was carrying quite a few bags of books, clothes, baby gifts, and stuff from my other life in Provo (oh yeah, and a baby and his luggage too), but I kept telling myself to go one block further, and pretty soon I was there. Looking back, I'm not too sure this didn't contribute to my early labor! But hey, it all worked out.

So all is well until I wake up the next morning (Dec 21st) at 7ish, and I think, hey these aren't Braxton-Hicks contractions... When I notify Brian he leaps out of bed, but I tell him not to worry, we still probably have a week or so. (See, I had a week's worth of work to do, so of course the baby will be polite and wait until I clear the shelves at Walmart, cook 60 meals ahead, wash every baby item I own three more times, and most importantly take three days to carefully and methodically pack my hospital bag.)

So we went about our usual business that day, except that during the afternoon I'm breathing through contractions while leaning over my shopping cart at Walmart. No big deal, he's still at least a couple of days off, right? So I stop at Brian's work on the way home to help with end-of-the-year inventory. Every once in a while I have to lie down on the floor and use some silly image of a beach to get through a contraction, since they're getting longer and closer together (abt. a min long, and 10 min apart). In between I'm fine though, so we finish up our work, close up shop and head home for the one BYU football game Brian will get to watch that year: the Bowl Game!

Then in between laundry, putting away groceries and Walmart goodies, some awesome plays by the Cougs, and a phone call from Brian's dad, we also breath and *relax* (HA) through some seriously intense contractions. They're coming one on top of eachother. Our birthing class is at 8:00, and at about 7:45 we call to let them know that we're thinking about going to the hospital. ("Oh, don't go too soon--it's the worst when you get sent home. Or if they keep you, they'll hook you up to a bunch of junk").

So all of a sudden I think that I've peed my pants REALLY bad somehow, but nope, we're in countdown mode!! Ahhh! So I run to the car with a bath towel, and as Brian's throwing everything under the sun into the diaper bag, I'm in the car thinking, OHMYGOODNESSI'M PUSHING!!! So Brian comes out and then runs back in and gets the baby seat, and then as we back out, I tell Brian that I'm pushing.

"Well, uh, stop pushing!! We're in the CAR!"

"I CAN'T!!! I HAVE TO!!"

"Well, don't push hard!!"

So after a 5 min drive we zoom into DRMC and run (well, I waddle and moan) inside. It's 8:00

Bri: "Can I get a wheelchair for my wife? She's in labor!"

Guy (who I'm pretty sure has been fired by now, thank you very much): [looks at me] "Oh, Labor and Delivery is just down the hall."

(Me:[DEATH STARE])

So when the nurses see me, I'm wheelchaired up immediately, and then pushed into the closest room. I'm hop up on the bed and I'm in delivery position (and attire--well minus the hospital robe and ID) in no time. Some Dr. guy runs in and listens to Brian shouting out our labor preferences (which are now becoming laughably obsolete: no drugs, no IV, no episiotomy, no continuous fetal monitoring, bla bla bla) and birth preferences (wait to cut cord, hold off on the baby bath, tell us what you're doing before you do it, etc), and tells me to stop pushing so hard (yeah, I wish I'd listened to him...) and Felix is born at 8:19!!!

Our sweet angel!

As an epilogue, Brian went out the next morning to get the car seat, and guess what? My door had been wide open all night!

It's time for some pictures...

Laura and Felix, a few hours after his birth

Proud dad, admiring his minutes-old son

Baby Felix! Fresh and clean after his first bath

Laura with sleepy, two-day old Felix

Daddy time

He's Here!!!

Our precious, little son, Felix Christian Hall, was born on December 21, at 8:19 pm. Four hours before that, we would never have guessed he was coming that day. A day before that we weren't even sure we were going to get a tax break. Sometimes these things happen fast! I will post the birth story in an entry soon.

So far parenthood has been *amazing*. Felix is such a wonderful baby. Even his crying sounds sweet, though I know that will get louder as he gets older. Our favorite sounds are when he squeeks, like as he's waking up, and when he sighs. He does this after he sneezes, and then takes another deep breath to sneeze again, but no sneeze comes so he lets all of the air out with a contented "aaaaah". So precious!!

I can't get enough of him either. An hour or so after he was born, they moved us up to the recovery unit. Since Brian couldn't come close to falling sleep in that 'easy chair' they have in the room--which was specifically designed to discourage dads from staying around, I'm sure--we snuggled together as a family in the hospital bed. And I remember realizing excitedly that I could hold him forever; no one was going to come and take this adorable baby back and return it to its mom, because I am his mom!! Sometimes when he falls asleep after nursing I just stare and stare at him. Everyone tells me to 'sleep while the baby sleeps', but that's just not happening. I can sleep when I'm old. Right now I just want to drink these experiences in. I love everything about him--his little mouth, his button nose; his beautiful, big eyes and long eyelashes (he can thank his dad for those!), his little ears, his soft hair... Oh, wow, listen to me gushing on like an overly proud mother. Well, it would be impossible not to fall in love with this little guy!

OK, now for some pictures!

"No birds, no bees
No flowers, no leaves
No wonder, November"

Ever year on the first day of this month since I can remember my Mom says that little poem, and writes it places where everyone can see it. I bet it was written on the dry erase board in our kitchen, that she uses to keep track of everyone's responsibilities that day, with a picture of a tree with colored leaves falling. :-) She also sent me an email with it in the body. Ahh... traditions.



This year I was in Provo on Halloween and when Brian called to read scriptures and say prayer with me he said "Happy almost November!" and I shared the poem with him. My mom has trained me well. I wonder if my great-grandchildren will know the poem, and I wonder when my Mom first heard it...

Well, I feel like my whole life is leading up to the momentous events of January. I don't even think I've thought about my life after that point in detail. Like, is there going to be a February, 2007? Whoah. We'll have a baby then. Ahhhh!

Brian and Laura in Barcelona.

So I decided to start a blog because I like reading other people's. Plus I think it will be fun to have a place to record our progress toward some goals... like Brian applying for business school, Laura finishing her master's, and most importantly having a baby!

Some of the applications are up for his top-choice schools (Stanford, Northwestern, Michigan, Yale, and Harvard), so we've started that. Brian has now emptied the "How to Go to College for Free" and "How to Write a Fabulous College Essay" sections of the St. George library, but since they're geared toward high schoolers, we're trying to see if we can still make the advice work for our situation. Harvard for free? We'll see. Maybe a baby will help. I'll keep working on that.

Brian doesn't have any backups, so we're putting all of our effort into these top-tier schools. If nothing materializes, we'll work another year and try again. I have to hand it to him, Brian knows what he wants.

On another note, I just scheduled our twenty-week ultrasound, for August 24th. I can't believe I'm that far along, but I'm excited because the pics of the fetuses in all of the books for 20 weeks look a LOT less alienish. I'm really, really excited to see the baby, even though I know I won't really recognize the image as a human. But it will be fun anyhow.

We've had two appointments so far -- one at 12 weeks, and the other at 18 weeks. We got to hear the heartbeat at both, loud and strong, even though Dr. Kvarfordt (yeah, pronounce that. Brian and I call him Dr. Kevorkian) said it wasn't very usual to hear it at 12 weeks. Hearing the heartbeat that first time was one of the coolest experiences ever! Brian and I just beamed at eachother. It was a milestone in our relationship, kind of like when we first shared an apple walking to school. Some things just change you forever.

OK, so my new dilemma, now that the ultrasound is getting close is thinking maybe I'd rather not know if it's a boy or girl. As much as I want to go out and buy my first onesie to look at for the next four months (and not a white or yellow one), I'm now thinking it would be fun to have a surprise! Wouldn't it? Then we'd really have something to tell people when we call them in January, instead of just a height and weight the'll soon forget.

On the other hand, maybe there are enough surprises in the delivery room (like what pain really is). So maybe we'd better clear this mystery up while we can. Anyhow, I really think it's a girl, so maybe we could just go on woman's intuition.

Decisions, decisions.